Surprise!

June 14th

So… five hpts later (that’s home pregnancy tests, for those who don’t know) I’ve received 5 positive results back. I’m just going to assume I’m preggers for now. I have a doctor’s appointment on the 22nd and I’m anxious, excited, and nervous. I’ve always wanted to be a mother, and while the timing isn’t ideal… this child is still a blessing… if, in fact, there is one in there. I’ve become sort of attached to my stomach, so I’m hoping once we get to the doctor’s they don’t tell us “hey, folks. False alarm… no worries!” especially since no baby probably means something else not so worth celebrating. I’d say that’s cause for worry. Of course, there’s the sensitive boobs and the period-like cramps, the absence of the period, headaches, backaches, queasy stomach, fatigue, dizziness, breathlessness, light headedness, and so on… I can’t even remember all my symptoms anymore. I’m so tired all the time lately! I’ve been trying to get some rest, but we just finished a trip from Indiana, so I haven’t gotten the opportunity yet.

Ah yes… and the mood swings… how could I forget those? I believe myself to be in the middle of one right now. A minute ago I was bawling because two guys in a movie were fighting in a kid’s toy store. It was even a comedy, so by all accord I should have been laughing my head off. Nope… crying like a little girl because the urge to cry was too much to overcome. Now that I’m done with crying I just feel mad at everyone and a little bitter. No idea about what, but mad and bitter… I’m trying to be happy, but it just seems to be impossible...

Hopefully “Fantasia” will help…